I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
