I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize