how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
