so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
