i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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