Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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