Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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