You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize