what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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