so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
