some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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