remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
