Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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