So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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