She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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