those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
