Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
