How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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