My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
