According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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