Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
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I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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