I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
