Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
