Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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