whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think a kid would responsible me up
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
