Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
