Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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