you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
