I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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