He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
