so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
