Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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