So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
