I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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