i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Is it because I queefed?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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