i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize