Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
