The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
