I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
