Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
There are leaves in my underwear?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
