That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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