Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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