My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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