ya dads aren't the best wingmen
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
They have beer where we have blood.
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