you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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