my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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