Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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