Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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