am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
