Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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