New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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