I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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