Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
