found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
