We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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