I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I didn't notice because vodka
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
