I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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