I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
