I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
