remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
