the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
