Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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