D3 body, D1 cock
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
