Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
