I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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