Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
