When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize