Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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