At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
