I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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