i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
