ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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