That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
