We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
